Berklee College of Music

Spring: Self-Reflection Through Rescore

Submitted in Partial Fulfilment of the Degree of
Master of Music in Scoring for Film, Television, and Video Games

Supervisor: Alfons Conde

by Jong Ho Choi

Valencia Campus, Spain
July 2019

Table of Contents
Abstract

iii

Acknowledgement

iv

1. Introduction

1

2. Decision Making

2

3. Obstacles

3

4. Composition

5

5. Recording at Air Studio

6

6. Mixing the Audio

8

7. Reflection

10

8. Conclusion

12

ii

Abstract
The purpose of this project is to compose a score to a picture to be recorded at Air
Studio in London at the end of the academic year. This paper includes the process I went
through from searching for a collaborating video to mixing and delivering the final mix, and
a sincere reflection of myself as a composer and a human being. This project is to ascertain
the fulfilment of Degree of Master of Music in Scoring for Film, Television and Video Games
at Berklee College of Music.

Keywords: composition, film scoring, orchestration, recording, self-reflection

iii

Acknowledgements
Every day since the first day I set my foot in the campus of Berklee Valencia, I have
felt grateful and humbled to be amongst the greatest talents I will ever meet in my life. I
learned so much more than I imagined possible, matured not only as a musician but also as a
human being, and fell in love with what I do as a composer more than ever. I cannot see
myself having accomplished all these without the wholehearted support, advice, criticism,
and love of the following people, and I would like to take a moment to address my sincere
gratitude.
To my parents, for always supporting me to the best of their ability so that I can do
what I want to do. Without them, none of what I have the privilege of experiencing at Berklee
would be possible.
To my teachers Lucio Godoy, Alfons Conde, Pablo Schuller, Sergio Jiménez Lacima,
Vicente Ortiz Gimeno, and Ben Cantil, whom I had the honor of being under their tutelage
and improve my musical knowledge and professionalism.
To all my classmates, for being the biggest inspiration and motivation. I would like
to extend special thanks to Wai Wong for being the mentor he has been for me the whole
year, Ed Witt for his valuable input to my inquiries and good humor, and Victor Josse for
telling me that my piece is not bad when I was totally consumed by the thought that it was.
To Air Studio, for granting me the most incredible experience of not only being in
one of the world’s most prestigious recording studio but also live for a day the life of the
composers who we all aspire to be.
Lastly, to my dear Jiana, who, despite being apart across the Atlantic Ocean with six
hours of time difference, always supported me in every way one could ever ask so that I can
focus on the path I took.

iv

1. Introduction
I must admit that when I first thought of applying to Berklee Valencia, I was very
insecure of myself as to whether I had what it takes to pursue further career in composition,
much less qualify to be a graduate student at Berklee. Even when I received the acceptance
letter from the administration’s office, what struck me harder than the sheer excitement of
being accepted was the question of “How did I get in?” Frankly, I ask the question from time
to time even to this day, only few weeks left until graduation.
As an extension of said low self-esteem, I faced with every assignment the most
classical dilemma all composers face for any project: How am I going to do this? I knew very
little of the realm of scoring to picture, and therefore every assignment was a dual challenge
of learning new material and fulfilling the requirement at the same time. Naturally, some
works took much longer to finish than I would have preferred, and many did not quite satisfy
myself. Though I was aware many classmates come from different levels of educational and
professional proficiency, their music all sounded much better to mine. It took a while to
convince myself that while modesty may be a virtue, it does no benefit if it turns into a
discouragement that prevents the desire to push forward.
In a way, the final recording for the Culminating Experience project is a resolution to
break through the wall of that harmful modesty, as well as a journey through which I had the
opportunities to discover my strength and weakness to improve and to fix. Essentially, all the
work that culminated into the final recording that took place in Air Studio is a lesson, in
which I learned what I have accomplished thus far and what I want to accomplish in the
future as a composer.

1

2. Decision Making
During the time at Berklee I tried to be fast with decision making, whether it is for an
in-class activity or an assignment to be recorded in AKSS or Aula Magistral. For the most
part I feel rather accomplished that I could make quick decisions since I was always more of
the indecisive one. For a while I even felt confident that I had overcome one of my old habits
that I wanted to get rid of.
It is without a doubt these kinds of moments when one succumb to one’s old faults.
Determining what I want to do for the final project took much longer than the time it took for
me to decide on any other assignments I had to do combined. I am not sure what caused the
drawback on being prompt with the decision process. Perhaps it was due to being truly stuck
with finding what to do, or maybe it was because of my misconception that I had a lot of time
left before I felt the need to be proactive with the project.
All these led me to realize once again that to make proper decisions in a timely
fashion I need to be extremely conscious of what I am doing as well as what I will be doing.
It also means that I must be fully aware of the consequences I face when I fail to complete or
fulfill a task in any nature. Because I was not as thoughtful as I should have been with setting
up a plan, I was always chased by the clock; because I did not allow myself enough time for
safety, I had to go through such mental stress whenever something turned out wrong or
different or impossible.

2

3. Obstacles
Finding a video to score to was already a challenge when I really got in motion with
proceeding with the project. I had originally sought out for an opportunity to score an original
project, since I had no prior scoring experience for a personal project. With my hopes high, I
started contacting educational institutions, inquiring whether there may be any ongoing
projects that need original score. My initial desire was to find a short animation film director,
be it an indie director or a student, so that I can utilize this opportunity as a springboard for
networking. There were, however, some oversights on my part during this process.
I had plans to go back to South Korea after graduation, and bearing that in mind I
had limited my search to institutions in South Korea and the neighboring countries only.
Thinking back now, I do not quite understand what my reasoning was for this strategy. There
is no guarantee that I will only be working in South Korea in the near or the distant future,
and even so it is not detrimental to know people from different places anyhow. In addition,
there was the issue of different academic calendars. Whereas at Berklee we start the school
year in September, South Korean schools start their school year in March; in the case of
Japan it was beginning of April. Thus, when I first reached out to the universities in these
countries back in January, all of them were in winter break. There was then some
communication from mid-March onward, but collaboration with them did not happen
because there was no ongoing or planned project that has even a rough cut for me to work on
in time for the London recording. I had to shift my focus of search and begin to look for
materials to rescore, and that is when I was introduced to Blender.org, an online community
of animation makers, and ultimately ended up working with the short animation Spring.
When I finally found Spring, it was like a rain shower at the end of a long drought.
However, composing to the picture proved to be incredibly more difficult than I had imagined
3

it to be. One of the main reason why I fell in love with this animation was because I was
searching for something I was not too familiar or comfortable with. For most of my life as a
musician I have always been more attracted to the quieter, calmer, and more harmonious kind
of music. Only after coming to Berklee did I encounter the term “Epic Music,” and I have
been subconsciously avoiding chances to compose something that I am a stranger to. I
wanted to seize this opportunity to urge myself to at least taste the experience of musical
expansion: anxious chase scene, harmonic clusters, and big, full sound of the whole
orchestra. Naturally, with these personal objectives in addition to the given requirements, the
CE project became the most challenging task I ever had to do with almost no composure with
respect to time.

4

4. Composition
As for all composition I approach, I tried to come up with the thematic material first.
My philosophy as a composer is that no matter how complex in idea and how skillfully
written a cue is, it is an unsuccessful music if the listeners cannot remember it. The problem
was in this particular cue I have chosen to score, there are two drastically different scenes that
I considered the significant ones: the chase scene and the triumphant scene. I wanted to write
a cohesive piece of music in which different parts of the video are still connected by the
music through resemblance in the musical material.
I encountered writer’s block, and decided to look for some references for inspiration.
I looked at the work of the big composers who everyone would go to, such as John Williams,
Hans Zimmer, and Howard Shore. I felt recharged with sources and went to write the section
for the chase scene. Only during my office hour with Vicente did I realize that the portion I
was influenced by the reference music was dangerously similar to the reference music itself. I
had to scratch the entire chase scene section of the music and start all over, and it was already
less than a month left until the recording.
Thinking back, I am glad that I had that meeting with Vicente to realize the danger in
the path I was going. It was extremely embarrassing at the time, and I felt terrible that I had
wasted his time. Nevertheless, because of the sincere and keen input he gave me, I was able
to reestablish my state of mind and focus on writing my music. Eventually I applied the main
theme I have in the very beginning as well as in the triumphant section on top of the rhythmic
elements I had assigned to the chase scene. One crucial advice from Vicente was that even
fast, rhythmic section should have a recognizable melody, and certainly having the derived
theme in the scene added intensity and action.

5

5. Recording at Air Studio
The recording session for me had already begun from the preparation stage of it. I
still vividly remember the intense atmosphere in the library during the days all SFTV
students had access to the special papers to print the parts on. It was also the first time I saw
that many SFTV students in the library all at once without a class being held in there. It felt
good. I felt like although everyone is working on their individual projects, we were working
as a team; some were helping others with proofreading the scores for one last time, while
others were helping with the taping of the parts, and all this made me proud that I am a
member of this group. The printing did take forever since thirty people were trying to print
out of three printers, and taping the scores continued until I reached London, but at least it
was an uncommon experience where I felt my heart pounding of excitement, not from
nervousness.
That lasted about three days, and the recording day came. All the excitement I felt
turned into fuel for mental breakdown, and no matter how hard I tried I could not rid myself
of the doubt that my music is not worth the devotion and attention everyone would give to it
once the recording had started. I had a lot of time at hand on that day because I was there
from the beginning at 10:00AM and my recording was second-last of the day at around
4:00PM. It was a great privilege to listen to everyone’s culmination of their year at Berklee,
but after each recording that took place I became incrementally nervous. It reached the point
where I was not even aware that when I placed the parts to the corresponding stands for the
musicians a viola part – it had to be the viola – slipped through and was stuck in my
conductor score. I can still feel the sensation of my blood going cold as I write about it.
Fortunately, I was able to get the parts to the players just before the recording took place, but
that to me was definitely an omen.

6

With the baton in my hand and the headphones on my head, I stood on the podium in
front of the world-renowned players and introduced myself. Then the clicks came through,
and the recording started. I had already anticipated that the first take would have some rough
spots since it is the first time the players are seeing the parts. Even so, I became devastated
when the fast section of the cue seemed to be more troublesome than I had expected. I could
not figure out whether it was because of the bowing I had or had not assigned properly, or the
tempo is too fast, or I was not conducting in sync with the click. In these kinds of events, I
discovered that I stop looking at the musicians as I conduct and just stare at the score, which I
practiced so much not to do. I had hoped this experience to be a moment of communion with
the great players and be immersed in creating the music. Instead, for the most part of the
recording it was a struggle to shake off the sensation that I had failed miserably, just as I had
worried.
I could barely stand after the recording was over. My head was completely blank,
and all the kind words from everyone about how great it the recording session had went and
how beautiful the music sounded, I felt only disappointment about myself. All the things I
could have done better or differently went through in my head. What do I do now? What can
I do? Can I do anything at all? I tried to stay as optimistic as possible for the rest of the
evening, but I could hardly fall asleep that night, reliving the experience over and over again.

7

6. Mixing the Audio
The matter of mixing to me is always a puzzle without a how-to-guide. There are
tools I can use to manipulate certain frequencies to make the music sound more balanced (or
so have I been taught this year), and it is totally up to me as to what and how I want to use
these tools. For the most part I admit I am doing more of what I have been taught to do than
what pleases my ears. Trying to remember all that I have been instructed with, I collaged the
best portion of the best recordings done by the best artists.
The recorded material was already fantastic even before being mixed. I was more
concerned that the more I add to the mixing process the more detrimental it would be to the
music. That is why when I had the mixing advising session with Pablo Schuller, I was
surprised to hear him say that he finds the mix I did generally well done. Naturally, there
were few things that could have been done that Pablo showed me during this session, some of
which were only few clicks. The difference it makes, however, is what I believe makes him a
professional. What took me hours to figure out took him seconds, and for each issue he
thought there was he had instant solution to fix it. I understand that this comes from his many
years of experience as a professional mixing engineer and I do not intend to insult him in any
manner by what I have said, but it was truly other-worldly.
There was one thing Pablo told me that made me feel a bit better. He said not to
worry too much about frequency curves and make the music sound good. As long as it sounds
as beautiful as it can be, it does not have to be mechanically perfect mix. Mixing was the one
friend that I could never get close to, even though I really want to. Since I never had any
experience with the technical aspect of mixing prior to Berklee, I could get to understanding
what certain plug-ins do but not to the level of being able to apply them comfortably by
knowing what I am doing. It took more time and effort than composing, and it was more
8

stressful than any work I have done because the outcome of the work I put in was barely
noticeable. I would tweak something here and wiggle something there until I felt like it got to
where I wanted it to, and without any assurance of what I am doing is right I would finalize
my work. Pablo’s words at least gave me a ray of hope that what I have been doing is not for
nothing.

9

7. Reflection
At this point of the paper, I started to wonder what I am really trying to say by
writing this wordy, anecdotal memoir of the past year. Am I trying to complain about how
difficult the last ten months were? Am I trying to make excuses for myself in case the
teachers do not like my final composition? Am I writing this just because I am required to do
it to get my degree? While the last question is partially true (as stated in the title page), I feel
that there is a valuable point in this paper.
In the 21th century, everyone lives a busy life without much time for examining
oneself. I argue that analyzing our own condition is crucial in living a satisfying life. In order
to feel accomplished, we have to find what it is that we have accomplished. This is much
easier said than done, especially nowadays. We are always thriving for results. We aim our
focus on the goal and run straight at it. Once we have cleared the objective, we move directly
on to the next one. In the repeated cycle of this life, we become bankrupt of things to give
ourselves a pat on the shoulder.
So I took a pause in writing and thought of what it is that I have accomplished. There
are three things that I realized. The first and the second are more cliché, that I learned more
from the process rather than from the result and that I learned more from what I failed on
than what I was successful in. The third one caught me off guard, and it was that I learned
more things than I expected in ways I was not even paying attention. I may not have
succeeded in managing my time in the beginning, but I managed to work under time crisis; I
failed to conduct as perfectly as I had prepared at Air, but at least I was able to disguise
myself and not appear as if I am having a nervous breakdown; I may not be a technical ninja
with mixing and mastering, but at least during the time I spent at Berklee I developed a pair
of ears that can distinguish what sounds good and what sounds bad.
10

In the end, it is all relative. I am nor will I ever be someone else. Putting myself in
someone else’s shoes should be to understand their situation and dilemma, not to try to play
catch up with that person. I now realize a lot of my frustrations come from comparing myself
to others. I should have been aware that I have my own pace of learning and my own level of
expertise, and not try to compare to others who are better than me; if they are better, almost
always it is because they have spent more time learning it and have more experience doing it.

11

8. Epilogue
It has been a journey: A journey I had never expected that I could be a part of, a
journey full of discovery and new experiences, a journey I learned where I excel and where I
fall behind, and a journey that reminded me once again of what I really yearn to do. I made
many great friends along the way, and I am proud and honored to be able to call them my
friends and to be their friend. I met many mentors alongside as well, who at times were not
all gentle but always for the best for me. If there is anything to regret, it would be of the fact
that maybe I could have given more than what I thought as my very best. I am certain that at
the time I was convinced that I am going at full capacity, but now I feel some of it may have
been self-justification to be done with what I was working on.
To me, the journey the girl in Spring goes through is much like my life. The past year
has been the chasing – or being chased – scene; I lived relentlessly without holding back for
the first time in my life, and through the obstacles and challenges I finally made it out of the
woods. In a couple of weeks, I will be walking along my classmates proudly and gloriously
to celebrate what I have achieved during the past year. I will look back to this moment one
last time before I leave, and, just like the end, all this will become one recollection in my life.
All this may feel like a dream once I leave Spain and go back home. Life as I had
wished may never come to be true, but now I have no fear of facing the uncertain. I am
already in full throttle, and stopping now means than taking a detour; it is shipwreck. For
that, I am grateful to Berklee. I can finally stop wondering between decisions to make.
No turning back. Full speed ahead.

12

So here is how it ends. Choistory at Berklee. It was a year full of delightful events
and memories, and I hope to maintain all the relationships I have built with classmates and
teachers.

13